Jim Behrle is a Hoax, or Is Jim Behrle a Hoax?

Jim Behrle is a Hoax, or Is Jim Behrle a Hoax?
[This speech was originally delivered by Ted Hash-Berryman at the 2014 National Book Award Awards Ceremony while awarding the award for Most Worthless Poet.] Jim Behrle raped Bill Cosby’s daughter. Now that I have your attention, I’d like to say a few serious words: There aren’t too many people in the world like Jim Behrle. ...

Ted The Vote Or Die: The Poetry Poll Of The Century

Ted The Vote Or Die: The Poetry Poll Of The Century
My fellow Americans, today is your chance to be heard. It’s time to embrace real change you can’t disbelieve your way out of. There are many important questions we must ask as citizens of the literary community; this is one of them. Your voice matters. Your vote matters. Be a standup literary citizen and please ...

Molest List

Molest List
Click the image to read Molest List by Ted Hash-Berryman.

Rape Poem: The Banned Essay Htmlgiant Doesn’t Want You To Read 3

Rape Poem: The Banned Essay Htmlgiant Doesn't Want You To Read
Recently I was solicited by the popular literary blog, Htmlgiant, to write an essay regarding Patricia Lockwood’s poem, ‘Rape Joke.’ I worked tirelessly to articulate my thoughts on the poem, and I produced the essay you see before you today. Gene Morgan, Editor-in-Chief of Htmlgiant, gladly accepted the essay, praising it as ‘solid and respectable ...

Image Problems: Volume I 1

Image Problems: Volume I
What’s your image problem?  

Fearless Trolls Wanted 1

Fearless Trolls Wanted
Due to my unmatched acumen in the online realm, my inadequacies in the physical realm have become glaringly obvious. In my neo-Faustian quest for Cosmic Consciousness and a transcendent state of being, it has become apparent to me that, for now, I am but one man, whose mortal stomach can no longer contain the fruits ...

Propositions Of War

Propositions Of War
The strength of those who attack can be measured in a way by the opposition they require: every growth is indicated by a search for a mighty opponent–or problem; for a warlike poet challenges problems, too, to single combat. Equality before the enemy: the first presupposition of an honest duel. Where one feels contempt, one ...

Obsequium Religiosum

Obsequium Religiosum
Submission: To yield oneself unconditionally to the power or authority of another. By the authority vested in us as editors, we decree that you obey the guidelines below. Failure to comply with these commandments will result in your outright rejection. SUBMISSION GUIDELINES 1. We are not accepting submissions at this time. 2. If you do ...

Charles Gimic

Charles Gimic
I’m pleased to give to you—free of charge—my latest work of art. Click the cover image to download Charles Gimic, the world’s first Eco-friendly E-book. Here is what people are saying about Charles Gimic, revised winner of the Pulitzer Prize: “Unrestful, ungraspable poetry of the sheer present.” —Charles Simic “A landmark in the history of ...

Con Trolling The Internet: Power Dynamics And The Culture Of Troll Shaming In The Age Of Social Media

Con Trolling The Internet: Power Dynamics And The Culture Of    Troll Shaming In The Age Of Social Media
It is true that from time to time I have assumed the mantle of instigator in the name of Socratic discourse. I will oftentimes prod a sleeping giant with the intent of waking someone up. If I use inflammatory language, I do so only in an attempt to coerce a dialogue open. Conversely, whenever my ...